The excellence of Stiff Richards spills through a grimy umbilical cord into its Legless Records dizygotic twin and punk touring partner, Split System. Like I said in the Stiff Richards article, both bands combined form components of several associated acts including: Speed Week, Public House, Jackson Reid Briggs and the Heaters, Capt Razz (Captain Razzamatta), The Black Heart Death Cult, Cutters, Doe St, and of course Stiff Richards and Split System. Undoubtedly, I’ve missed a few within that overwhelming talented musical gene pool.
This interview questions this time are the same as the one’s for Stiff Richards, so I think it’s only appropriate to include my long-winded pre-amble to set the scene and gauge their larrikinism:
“I questioned them about forming a super group called the Public Houses of Split Richards, or Stiff Systems of Sir Richard, even Richard Speed Week and the Stiff Heaters (the imagery is equally as powerful, if not slightly more disturbing for Cliff Richards fans) Perhaps they could do a cover of the 1986 Young Ones cover of “Livin’ Doll” covering Cliff Richards, or a cover of Cliff Richards singing the Young Ones but with a modern Australian punk flair? Confused? Well then welcome to another Five Quickfire Questions with OnlyBands where cohesion is the first casualty.”
Split System are:
- Jackson Reid Briggs: Vox (Not interviewed)
- Aaron Mawson: Guitar (Not interviewed)
- Mitch McGreggor: Drums (Not interviewed)
- Deon Slaviero: Bass (Interviewed)
- Ryan Webb: Guitar (Interviewed)
1.Does a Split System Force Field block a Stiff Richards Bad Disease? One sounds like it needs fifty rolls of a hundred mile-an-hour tape and a thousand dingers to construct while the other needs a dozen boxes of Viagra with some poor life choices. Who wins in that sweaty arm wrestle?
Ryan: Who wins? Diesel (pointing to Deon). His name is also Diesel-Deon.
Deon: Yeah… Speed always wins
OB: Ah Diesel Forever. Agreed.
Ryan: Well what song is shorter?
Deon: One song is faster.
Ryan: Force Field.
Deon: Force Field.
Ryan: Speedy and quick. He is backing his own horse there! Ha-ha-ha.
OB: I like that. Why not? It’s a fucking great horse to back. But… just don’t tell Stiffies, I said that of course (we all laugh).
Deon: Speed on a roll.
(Note: An almost empty Brunswick Ballroom is a glorious sight to behold, it was however an amplified Echo Chamber during the sound check being conducted and the excitement of the C.O.F.F.I.N and Stiffies reunion. For that reason, while transcribing the interview, I had to slow the speed down to 0.6 in order to gain clarity and block out background noise. This made it sound like we were slurring our words on a barbiturate cocktail!)
2. What is the most Ostentatious thing you’ve ever done at a Rich Cunt Party? Two bands and two song titles there.
Ryan: Oh, you’ve been to a few Rich Cunt parties Deon,
Deon: Ahhh, well I’m not proud of this, but at a party I stumbled across a room full of these expensive crystals. Like hippie crystals… so I may have walked out with a pocket full of crystals at the end of the party. So that’s probably like the wildest thing I’ve done, well apart from sniffing all their fun stuff.
Ryan: I don’t go to parties, and I don’t know rich people, so I haven’t been in that situation fortunately ha-ha!
OB: Fuck I’ve heard some good stories!
3. Who do you consider to be changing the world around them in a positive way? In any circles. Someone that you consider to have real Power, Energy, Action.
Ryan: Hm… Well, you’d say Donald Trump wouldn’t you Deon? He is a big Trump dude, ha-ha-ha! (sarcastically).
Deon: Guilty! Ha-ha-ha… I’ll let you answer that one.
Ryan: Me? Ah God, I don’t know, trying think of activists…
OB: In any field.
Ryan: In any field? Hm… Patrick Cripps from the Carlton Football Club is changing my world by making Carlton a good football team. So yeah, that’s about it.
Deon: I would say probably all our mates. Doing what they are doing. Backing themselves and supporting each other in music. That’s probably the most inspiring thing for me in this minute yeah.
OB: The other guys (Stiff Richards and C.O.F.F.I.N) both said Shane and Leanne from the Last Chance that saved The Tote.
Ryan: Those guys for sure!
Deon: They’ve done a great job. They’ve saved it for sure.
OB: We just came from The Tote and saw Aidan from Private Function there…
Ryan: Oh, it’s massive.
OB: It’s beautiful. Like you said they’ve helped save the community through the love of music. And that’s certainly what I have found from this, it’s really special. All these friendships are made through a combined love of music, I’m not a muso, but I can still understand where you are coming from with this.
Ryan/Deon: That’s right… Absolutely!
(All laughing).
OB: Time for the next question and this requires theme music… (I play Speed Week Theme from the Speed Week album Hey, Hey It’s Speed Week, pre-taped on my Dictaphone recorder. Speed Week is Ryan from Split System’s other band).
Deon: Oh, cool what is the theme? (listening to the tinny mic)
Ryan: Is that… Speed Week?!
Both: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ryan: Thanks to our drummer, it’s an Andrew Robinson special. He did that.
OB: Your drummer recorded it?
Ryan: Yeah, he records most the Speed Week stuff to be honest. Andrew Robinson shout out.
OB: I think the whole album is like sixteen minutes?
Ryan: Yeah, I don’t know if you’d call it an album really ha-ha-ha! It’s bloody short.
OB: Well, I bloody love it. In fact, Stiffies were like “Why don’t we have theme music? We need theme music!” so that’s good hey.
Deon: One of the greatest things to come out of Tasmania I’d say.
OB: Speed Week?
Deon: Yeah, Hey Hey It’s Speed Week.
Ryan: Second best! Ha!
OB: I fucking love it.
4. It’s time to play…. Fill in the Blanks. Here is the game: Split System spent all their tour budget on _ at the _. Now they are going to _ to get the money back to go on tour _ to_.
Ryan: The answer to that is probably exactly the same as the question, including the blanks ha-ha-ha! Yeah, totally unprintable I’d say.
Deon: Yeah, totally unprintable! Ha-ha-ha! Redacted, redacted, redacted.
Ryan: Yep, redacted, redacted, redacted I’d say. Would you agree?
Deon: I agree… Ha-ha!
Ryan: Yep!
OB: Nice, may I help you with the last part of the interview with the next question?
Deon/Ryan: Yep… yeah totally.
5. Is the reason you are not frequenting the Sunshine State as often as we would like (I am on my hands and knees grovelling for you to come to QLD). Is it because of a strict NO FUN ON THE BEACHES policy?
OB: There are beaches up and down the Gold and Sunny Coast, both with great venues like Sol Bar, Vinnies Dive Bar, Mo’s Desert Clubhouse. They would go apeshit crazy to host you no doubt.
Deon: Of course!
Ryan: We’d love to go there, we tried to go there.
OB: (Recounting how Drunk Mums and FFMB wearing Splitties and Stiffies merch to Brisbane gigs)
Ryan: Corporate synergy…
Deon: That was planted. Intentionally planted.
Ryan: Yeah, we’d like to go to QLD, we tried to, but Bob Katter kept us out!
OB: And The Zoo closed.
Ryan: Yeah, that was the reason right?
Deon: Yeah, right. We were going to play in the upstairs Stranded Bar joint.
OB: Oh! That place had such a mad punk vibe.
Deon: It was all locked in and then, yeah, they announced its closure.
OB: Ah damn it. I went to the last show there, with the Skegss. So that was a nice way to close it under the circumstances.
Ryan: Hm yeah, that’s cool.
Deon: Perhaps now it will be The Brightside?
OB: Yeah, The Brightside would accommodate both bands yeah.
Ryan: We’d love to for sure. Jackson our singer is from there as well, or the Sunny Coast? He might have worked at one of the venues there…
OB: That’s right.
Ryan: I think it was The Zoo, I feel like they’d have hired him, I don’t know if that means anything but!
Deon: Haha. Or Ric’s maybe?
Ryan: Maybe, but we’d love to come up. It would be so good.
OB: We’d love to have you up there so much. Well thanks for doing this today, I really appreciate it.
Ryan/Deon: Oh, we appreciate it too!
OB: Yeah, in twelve months we’ve been able to interview every band we love, there was a few missing and we got three in one day! And at nine minutes and thirty-five seconds minutes you beat the other boys!
Ryan: Oh, they were waffling on! Ha-ha-ha, speed wins!
Hopefully they’ll speed up on doing a Split System and Stiff Richards show in Queensland too. We’re all waiting for it!
Thanks once again to Brendan Frost (@brendanfrost) for capturing all the chaos from the ensuing Brunswick Ballroom show!